My Quirky Crusade

My Quirky Crusade

A zillion books, articles, and workshops are out there on how to be a better writer. If you put them end to end they’d probably circle the earth.

In the writing of dialogue, there’s a current style these days for authors of mystery and suspense fiction. The standard appears to be the verb “said.” For instance, “I feel miserable,” she said. “My car broke down,” he said. We’re taught that “said” is a good verb and we should use it—and rarely anything else.

And, above all, ditch the adverbs! Here are a few examples of adverbs that tell instead of show: “…she said angrily, spitefully, sweetly, happily, morosely.” Instead of showing: “I’ll never come back,” she shouted.

Elmore Leonard (author of Get Shorty) said something like, “Let’s kill all the adverbs.” Lawrence Block wrote a book for writers: Telling Lies for Fun and Profit. He said that if your characters are good and your dialogue is natural, “let them talk to each other. And stay the hell out of their way.”

The same rule goes for piling on the adjectives. Pen in Hand, the Maryland Writers’ Association newsletter, once had a cartoon of a speaker at a podium in front of a large audience. A sign on the wall behind him read: “Adjectives and Adverbs Anonymous.”

But getting back to the word “said.” I’m launching my own personal crusade to do away with the persistence of it. My point is, the word “said” is boring. Downright booooring! I miss the old-fashioned authors’ extravagant animal sounds, such as: “He barked, he yelped, he bayed, he grunted.” “She snarled, she screeched, she warbled, she bleated.” Now I ask you: Aren’t those verbs more fun? I intend to indulge in them.

But I promise you, I will never write “The horse-faced woman neighed” or “whinnied.” You have my word on that.